Expose yourself to your greatest fear, after that, the feeling of fear has no power.
Say YES to new adventures....
One sure way to stay safe and protect your low sense of self-esteem is to never take risks, never expose yourself to any situation that might induce feelings of inadequacy or even worse shame. Never take yourself outside your comfort zone, never challenge yourself beyond that where you are comfortably programmed to go (blueprint).
And we are not talking about jumping out of a plane here, or ab-sailing down the North Face, it could just be something as simple as going into a café on your own and having a coffee and reading a book (self-care). We deny ourselves the most simple of pleasures through fear.
On the flip side, it is ok to say no to things you don’t want to do, or enjoy, and you don’t need to feel guilty about that, saying yes when you want to say no is people pleasing, which at it’s extreme is a very co-dependent behaviour.
It’s all about balance, if you're in that place, then saying 'yes' should be little steps, just saying yes to yourself, I will go for that coffee, I will go to the cinema on my own, I will go watch a band.
This will lead to new experiences and over time create a sense of safety. Maybe then you can try something new, something you always wanted to do but never permitted yourself to before.
Alone does not have to mean lonely, and actually, learning to be alone is also a key process in this journey.
In summary then, your sense of self, your ‘self-esteem’ is something you give to yourself, and it’s never too late to rewire this. Having a positive sense of self is the scaffolding that supports your experience of life, how you meet other people, how you show up in the world and it is reflected back to you in your outwardly experience.
You do you better than anyone else ever could.