The Inner Child...they are waiting for you, let's go get them.
90% of your emotional programming, is in place by the age of 8 years old. This 'emotional blueprint' becomes the framework for how you see yourself and your place in the world. Buried deep in your subconscious, it is a hard wired framework that controls your emotional intelligence, emotional reactivity and emotional resilience.
In order to make changes to our emotional behaviour as adults, take back control and redesign this blueprint, we must first explore it's original design.
This means getting in touch with our inner child...
In the beginning, there was your Childhood...
Even when our parents were loving and tried their best, we all have psychological blind spots and can pass on dysfunctional behaviours to our children without bad intent.
Most of us are busy making a living, trying to provide what is best for our children and are unaware of subconscious patterns that manifest in our behaviours.
These patterns of behaviour are "downloaded" in childhood and become our emotional blueprint which dictates our way of thinking and functioning without us ever realising it's happening... In this way, generational traumas, pains and aches of life and attitudes can be carried by us from generation to generation.
As we grow and mature into adults, these unconscious ways of being and patterns begin to form our Ego.
Moreover, the voices from the Past, the way our parents spoke to us, the reward and punishment systems we had in place, all become internalized in our psyche and incorporated into our Ego often in deconstructive ways - here, often our "very own" Inner Critic is born... - we accept "truths" about ourselves from a very young age without ever finding out they were lies. Simply because as children, we trust adults more than we trust ourselves.
Example: You might have been told by your parents that you are good at drawing. This might have never been true but you accepted this and carried on getting better and exploring your skills with crayons until one day you became a great artist.
Example: You might have been told by your parents you have no musical taste and no talent. That you cannot repeat any rhythms and songs correctly. You get discouraged and tell yourself this lie without ever questioning it.
The above shows that as children we accept the reality we are given.
In our adulthood, because we love our care gives, guardians and parents, we tend to say "I had a great childhood", not understanding that sometimes going into Inner Child work is not to find out that you had a bad childhood but that perhaps there are patterns of dysfunctional thinking that originate there, due to another simple fact of life: we all grow, we all make mistakes. Our parents are not an exception to this rule.
There is most likely a narrative running in "your" overthinking mind that originates in things you have been told throughout your life. This narrative creates a confusing layer to your thinking processes.
If you decide to embark on this journey, we can help you discover your false narratives, their origins, ways forward and reframing tools as well as exploring the narratives of the true, healing Self (hint: there aren't many because the true Self lives in the spirit of possibility and constant creation, guided by inner, warm feeling of safety and love).
Sometimes the only thing standing between us and the things we want in our lives is indeed the person in the mirror.
Breaking down barriers to self-love, self-expression (rather than censorship), creating a successful life (whatever shape or form that takes for the true Self), creating (rather than finding) a healthy relationship with a chilled out, warm and stable person are all biproducts of the process of Unravelling...
Even when tied in a thousand knots, the string is still but one.
You are so close.
Don't give up now.