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The one who knows themselves, can never be alone...

Feeling lonely means only one thing: It means you are disconnected from yourself, you forgot who you are, maybe you never even knew where you end and everyone else begins.

You need to get to know yourself all over again…

Journey Home

Getting to know yourself means all the decisions that felt hard to make in the past become effortless. You lose the questions and the burning desire to figure things out. Everything just falls into place based on your self-knowledge and your actions driven by the true essence of who you are. You become a free flowing river.

The gentle hum of your existence is the most soothing sound when you know who you are. It is similar to the comforting feeling of being in your mother’s womb; an ocean of nurturing, quiet love with no words attached; floating around you.

Trying to fill that void inside, with someone from the outside will only provide temporary cover, and whilst it may feel like love for a while, it’s just attachment, all the pressure is now on your partner to make sure that YOU don’t feel lonely.

Not only is that too much to ask of anyone, it’s also quite selfish in nature, and inevitably when that feeling comes back, you will again blame them for not giving what you need, when in truth they never could.

We are not likely to attract our true ‘soulmates’ this way, and the likelihood is the same patterns and outcomes will continue to replicate themselves from one relationship to another.

If we continue this trajectory, we will attract storms, rather than lighthouses and although many of them will shine in the darkness, the inevitable crash into the rocks is just ahead.

Time Alone

If you’re already in a relationship, many of us will start to blame our partners, when we feel disconnected and if your single it’s almost a given you will try and look outside for the type of love that will make you feel less lonely in this vast universe.

There are no end of ways to escape feeling lonely, the obvious one would be by being with someone else. People stay in very dysfunctional relationships for example, rather than face the world alone. In extreme cases, people will stay in abusive relationships for the same reason.

Inner Child Love

And if we can’t find what we need in other people (love addiction) then it’s not unusual to see someone turn to other maladaptive ways of managing loneliness in the form of addiction to drugs, alcohol, shopping, eating, gambling, or sex. For some people this will be several if not all the above. Heroin addiction in this sense is no different to addiction to shopping, they are both rooted in the same place…

It turns out that conquering your fear of being alone, is intrinsically linked to overcoming addiction, and the pathway that leads to healthy loving relationships…

Relationship Teamwork
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